Controversial

Today i'm gonna write a very controversial story about myself.

When i started wearing the tudung (Hijab), from then on i get alot of positive reactions towards me. Before wearing the tudung, dengan muka cina kopek aku lg, seriously, those Malay muslim people tend to have this typical stereotype about girls like me. And they tend to give you those negative impression and layanan yg agak teruk. Seriously, i have experience all these discrimination towards me. But when i started wearing the tudung, alhamdullillah, i get to see a better side of me that i myself were not aware of the qualities that i had. And so, i get better positive reaction, better layanan, especially when you go to any cafe, you'll discounts and sometimes cheaper things too.. :)

However, to change the way i am right now takes alot of strength, commitment and support. You want to know why? I was like the devil back then. I drink, i got wasted, i took weed (Biasa la time budak kan), some X, and some of that. I was a bad bitch last time compared to those present wanna be bitches that i see kononnya kaki clubbing, minum la apa la. Well, now its the opposite. Really, really opposite. When i was bad, i view some of those tudung people as those bitches that are so skema, boring, alim la kunun, because the way they stare a me was like, wooooaaahhh!! but now, i am that tudung people, and the way i view those bitches that kununnya hebat la go clubbing and all, is a mere wannabe. Poser. From that point on, i became scared of revealing my skin (Aurat), my cleavage Size 38E Boobs (;P) hahaha and my body. You want to know why? hukuman Allah S.W.T sangat menakutkan to those that reveal their body besides their husbands. Yeah i know, last time i was like, what the crap is this? But as i go on, with a lot of support from My one and only boyfriend, soon to be my husband, Jai :), He is the one that change everything from that! to where i am right now. Alhamdullillah, i manage to have the amount of Iman needed for me to change and to stay the way i am right now. :)

As Jai always remind me, Kalau kita kejar Duniawi, Allah S.W.T mmg bagi, minta apa satu pun mmg dapat, Tapi syurga akan dijauhkan. And i read some islamic article, dosa yang lebih berat daripada berzina, adalah, meninggalkan solat secara sengaja.

I find being slowly adapting to the teachings of islam is wonderful. Teaches you on how to be a better person. I think it was in the quran, Iread it when i was in Mekah, it said, "avoid people that brings harm to yourself, and be close to people that does not bring harm to you". Brings harm means, not only physicall and mentally harm, but dari sudut, " Orang yang boleh membawa dosa pada diri sendiri". So, i guess from reading the Quran in mekah, it really opened up my eyes more. It made me think, what have i done with my life until now. So i avoid those people. I don't know, it was automatic. I feel like i needed to breath and to manage myself.

I also read the punishment to woman that does not take care of their aurat. Scary shit i tell you. Rambut di paku dan dibakar sampai otak mendidih, Anggota badan di bakar sbb tidak menutup aurat, disula and etc... that is some scary shit ok. :P

What i hope to be in the future, is to be a succesfull woman in life and also di hari akhirat,and to be a good muslim :)

PASHMINA FEVER

I will, and will always be in love with pashmina and those stripe shawl. Eventhough sekarang ni musim tudung bawal, in a way, aku tak reti nak pakai tudung bawal. Sorry, tak kene dgn muke i :D haha. Anyway, i got a place in a hostel. At least jimat sgt duit minyak kereta pa smua kan ;D. Currently staying at Rafflesia 6. Classes from Monday till Thursday only. So lepas habis je class kul 4 i'll be going back to damansara.

This semester is my most final and last semester as a degree student. *Sigh* Cepat sgt masa berlalu. I'm planning to pursue my masters in MBA either in the states or in UK. But before pursuing, i'm gonna work first. Pegang dulu duit, then i'll pursue later on. They say once you work and got a hold of your own money you will not think of pursuing your studies anymore. Well i'm here to prove them wrong. :)

I've change handphones. I'm now using the iphone 4, white color. Lepas ni kalau dah bosan dgn iphone 4, who knows what handphone i'll use next. >:P

Haih.. research, research,research. Dikejar ke semester ni dari last sem. Kerja kerja kerja... :P Oh practical was awesome!!!! And i did a system using access. Senang jak. :P Just a simple database system would do alright. :)

Jai is working part time at TM. Biasa la, kalau dah abes sem, mesti cari kerja part time kan. To fill in those unused activities. Even i would find a part time work when it is the semester break. :P

Anyway, sem ni la jgk last aku merasa Paper final, last aku rasa stress dgn assignments, quiz dan test. Sungguh Sedih bila dikenangkan perkara itu balik. Anyway, that's life. Life must go on.

Forget the past, and live on to the future. :)

TANGGUNGJAWAB

Bagaimanakah hendak 'delete' Blog yang sudah bekurun lamanya tidak dipakai, yang mengandungi unsur-unsur anasi yg tidak bermanfaat pada diri, di mana email yang digunakan untuk membuat blog itu bukanlah milik saya, malah email yang digunakan itulah boleh meng-delete kan Blog itu.

Benda ini terjadi apabila Jai ku menaip nama saya di 'google search box'. Dia hairan, jadi dia klik link yang menpunyai nama saya. Dia terkejut apabila melihat BLOG Lama saya yang masih wujud di laman web sesawang ini. Dia menelefon saya dan bertanya bagaimanakah ianya boleh terjadi. Saya juga amat terperanjat dengan informasi yang dia berikan kepada saya. Saya memberitahu dia bahawa blog itu bukan milik saya kerana 'email' yang digunakan untuk membuat blog itu milik orang lain. Jadi untuk meng-deletekan blog itu memang sah berada di luar kuasa saya.

Saya jgk mencuba untuk 'report' blog itu, kerana blog yang tidak bermanfaat itu haruslah di delete. Apabila blog itu berada di bawah milik email orang lain, maka milik email orang itu la yang bertanggungjawab untuk meng-delete kan email itu, kerana blog itu boleh dikira sebagai 'defaming other people' yang sudah tidak kena mengena dengan blog itu.

Saya dan pasangan saya Jai berharap agar blog ini dapat di 'delete' oleh penguat kuasa blogger.com.

Sekian.

Punya skema bha bahasa.. hahahaha :P

Elakkan NAFSU syaitan

Pesanan Ustaz Azhar Idrus Kepada Lelaki :

Jangan pikat wanita kalau anda tak bersedia cintakan dia.
Jangan buat wanita tu jatuh cinta kalau anda tak cintakan dia.
Jangan memberi wanita harapan kalau anda tidak pasti.
Jangan sakitkan hati wanita kalau anda tiada hati untuknya.
Jangan mainkan perasaan wanita kalau anda tiada perasaan untuknya.
H.A.R.A.M jika jadikan wanita itu kekasih tetapi tiada niat untuk nikahinya.

Practical... internship.. Industrial training.

This March it will be my last four and a half month as a Bachelor degree student. How sad. After that i will be a carier woman. Insyallah kalau ada rezeki, i will work overseas. Wanna get that strong experience before working permanently in Malaysia.



Is it nice? I think i will add a chiffon hood with the baju. Because i will be wearing my tudung ala arab style, so i think the hood would complement the style. And prolly would put some blue beadings with it. Although i wanted it with something turqoise or blue, but, i still have heaps of time to modify it later. Is figuring out my hecting schedule... erghhhhh...



This is the style that i had in mind. The Blue texture in the middle, but no hoody la. If got hoody seriously nice. I would be wearing something like a 'anak tudung' in the inside, and a thin soft blue 'selendang' arab style. I use soft chiffon so that it won't look heavy on the head. :)

Jai is back with the iphone4. Iya, dia tukar lagi phone. Kadang2 sa pun buli mengamuk dia tukar2 phone. hahaha.. He said he cepat boring and this iphone4 white that he is currently using now, ini la last dia bilang. :P We'll see if its the last. He installed siri on his iphone 4. Bukan iphone 4s tau, iphone 4. Well, it is working perfectly, tapi tula, siri is useless in Malaysia. Setakat suruh siri go to phonebook cari number orang boleh la. But if you ask for destinations, memang cannot la. Because siri is only designed to work specifically in the UK and in the US.

Will be going to Singapore-Jakarta this year. Hopefully before Raya. Wanna go to Universal Studio Singapore for probably three days or a week, then we'll take the flight from singapore to Jakarta. Will be driving to Singapore with family. And yes gonna use my car to go there. Tiga kereta kali, Kereta abg oji, mine and abg hafiz. urghhh... Wanna go to Bugis street in Singapore!!! hehehe.

What is going to happen this year 2012 :)

Insyaallah.. Akan ku bertunang dgn Muhammad Ruzaini Bin M.Haron. Kekasih ku, Sayang ku.. and my bebeh! hhaha.. Anyway, I'm still in the midst of planning. Tapi harap2 insyallah kalau Allah S.W.T Bagi kami rezeki, This year is my lucky year :)

Anyway, here are the sample of the pelamin for my up coming tunang.






























Haih... decisions, decisions. The sample pelamin that i took is all according to what i want. Simple but sophisticated. I'm not really into that hardcore pelamin stuff. Although the Pink and Black, (First Picture) is quite hardcore, but i really like the style. Maybe IF i choose that i'll modify abit of the pelamin.

My baju would be Off-White but a little bit of soft turqoise beadings with detailed Gold thread. Later i'll post about the Baju, because it is still in consideration. :P

Insyallah, kalau ada rezeki, it will be this July 2012 :) AMIN~

FINAL

Final, dlm beberapa minggu lagi. Sigh~

And so far i have 0 encounters on drama this semester. Bagus la. i really dislike Drama. Yuck~. For gedik gedik girls tu boleh la, but not for me. Its because that i am always in my own little island. :) Tidak ambil port pasal hal org lain.

Miss Jai. :(

Sumpah banyak betul org2 yg aku kenal time sekolah menengah dah khawin. Gila apa. Bila la turn aku nih. Its best to just wait kan. Focus on my career first. Kena ada duit baru boleh khawin. Cinta setia sejati is only enough dari segi hati, emosi, and etc... Tp kalau khawin nak bayar segala benda alat takkan nk guna cinta sejati kowt? Hahaha.. see!! Money is IMPORTANT kalau mau khawin. No Money, no hantaran. Which is the part that i look forward to. Hahaha..

I got a feeling that i will be married in the next two or three years. ;D... Jai keeps on talking about marriage, kids and stuff. hehehe.. which puts a BIG smile on my face. And i keep on asking him bila nk khawin. hahhaha xD Insyallah kalau Allah bg rezeki akan ku khawin dgn dia :) AMIN~

TIESTO

FREEDOM was a blast!!!! Next stop, TIESTO party on the 10th of december 2011. Its tiesto bitches!! xD

FREEDOM

FREEDOM THIS COMING 19TH NOVEMBER. ITS A FREAKY COSTUME PARTY AT KUALA LUMPUR. TOO BAD THE TICKET PRICE HAS GONE UP TO RM80 RINGGIT PER TICKET. I'M SELLING MY TWO EXTRA TICKETS FOR RM 50. YOU WANT IT??? PM ME. TELL YOUR FRIENDS WHO WANTS TO GO TO FREEDOM! xD

REPENT :)

Friends come and go. That is why we make lots of friends. When the old ones go, new ones come. FACTS about me. Ak sgt la berdendam. Aku sgt PANTANG when:

~People take advantage of me
~Betrayed
~Lied to
~Use me for their selfish intention and reason
~Never apologize
~Ego Macam shit
~Bila salah tu berpihak kat dia, That person will sell out my name, tuduh orang lain, tidak mau mengaku.

~Is not thoughtful
~Dua Muka
~Suka mengate
~Tries to bring me down
~Lupa Kawan
~Makan Kawan sendiri

I will, return the favour in a way you will want to avoid me for the rest of your life. Until i here the forgiveness in you towards me then i'll forgive. I forgive but i do not forget.

One thing about me is that saya nie berdendam. I can be revengeful for so many years. SERIOUS SHIT i really need to throw this attitude. Buruk okayh! I've done all my revengeful act towards certain people, in which when i think back, i noticed how evil i was. Astaghfirullahhulazim! Gila kau dosa banyak tu weyh.

Tapi alhamdullillah, Perangai mcm tu dah kurang. All thanks to Jai, my supporter. Dia la yang merubah ak menjadi seorang yg baik. Not that BAIK, tp alhamdullillah, sedikit demi sedikit. I forgive all the people that menguris hati saya dulu. Except for one. Jujur la, i'm an emotional type of girl, Otak ada, but i use my emotions into my action. Yea i know stupid. Tapi Jai yg tekankan what is good behavior and what is bad behavior. So far i've encountered many haters, in which i forgive them. But still, there's a side of me that still holds grudges, in which i managed to handle it quite well. I didin't do anything extreme to them. SO i just bagi biar jak. Lama2 they just shut the fuck up. :) The only thing that i did is make them more jealous of me. Lagi la they all sakit hati kan. hihihihihi xD To all that i made their life miserable even for a split second, weeks, days or months. I'm sorry. It is my sinceriest apology and please accept it. :) ok! ;D

Dayangku Mazrianah bte Pg. Mahmuddin Tahir 70% changed since december 2009 till now 10/11/2011. It takes almost 2 years to change into a better person. And hell yea it is NOT EASY!

Yours truly;
Deekay

Mengarut pukul 1.30 Pagi

Its 1 A.M. And the eyes won't shut. Mcm gini la. Tlampau bnyk sdh ak berspeaking english di blog. Jadi sekali skala ckp bm.

ak nda tau napa ak nda dpt tidur. Mau gayut tp c jai sdh tidur. Mau buat assignment, tp tertunda tunda. Sudah dpt sources journal, tinggal mau buat jak. Nda pa, bisuk kan ada. Kena kasih siap dulu barang2 kerja semua nie sebelum balik p KL nnt ari sabtu ni. Aduuiii,, napa bha drg nda kasi cuti 2 minggu. Alang2 bha.

Anyway, ak surf internet tadi. Banyak la ak jumpa receipe momom yg shedap shedap. Heeeee xD. Mau kasi gumuk c jai bha. hehe..

First time aku jmpa c jai di kinokuniya 27.12.2009. Time tu masing2 keding. SUMPAH! I jog and work out the whole month of december. Jaga makan pa smua. And secara kebetulan, c jai pun 2x5 jgk mau kasi kurus badan dia. Kalau banding bdn dia skrg sm dulu time dia di kolej, mengikut gambar yg dia kasi tunjuk tu, Ciut ni bha dia chubby chubby. hehehe.. Bila peluk besh!!! mcm peluk teddy bear... hehehe.. so warm and huggeble. hihihi xD...

Pastuh, Setelah dia kurus, dia pun buat badan. Dengan segala protein and supplement dia ambil. Maka terjadi la bdn yg diidamkan. BUT! hehehe.. To all the guys out there, kalau you all ada Bini, GF yg terer masak, jgn harap la kamu boleh dpt bdn yg kamu mau tu. And yes, itu la dia.. Everyday i cook him lasagne, spaggot, butter chicken, ayam tomato, ayam kicap, ayam masak merah, ikan, chocolate cake, rendang, kelupis you name it i made it. So hantar la p wangsa maju di rumah dia. And that is how he got bloated from stick to cushion. hehehe.. xD

But i still remember masa cuti 4 bulan semester break. I was working as usual. Masyuk babe for part time. I got around RM1275. Ok la bha tu for part time. :P. Perut Jai sentiasa Kenyang. Alhamdulillah. :) And yes i always cook for him. They say kalau perut kenyang hati pun senang. And they way to men's heart is through hus stomach. hihihihi xD.

Time c jai kerja di Pizza San Francisco(PSF) as a chef there, he also always cook for me. Hehehe.. And i always get discount and sometimes free. Jai will always be my chef. Sedap bha dia masak. And this is how i gain weight too. hihihihi xD Kalau dr dulu kurus, bila dua2 lover mengembang, orang dulu2 ckp bahagia kio!. Mengkali la, and i think its right. hehehe...

I think i need to change my car tyres. Tayar blkg tu sdh pancit, ntah sepa yg letak paku tu. Taik btl. So i need to change the back only. C jai la tukang cari. Dia kan terer buat bnda2 tu.

c Jai ni balik2 tukar phone. Ari tu sdh iphone 4, then he got bored, trus tukar p Blackberry (Hp yg dia paling tdk suka), kejap jak BB tu trus tukar p Samsung Galaxy S, Den he got bored again, he change to Iphone 3GS.

I prefer Iphone or android. BlackBerry is the suckiest phone ever!!! Common la!! Apa barang Java??!! OS system-none. The only thing that is great about that phone is BBM. Lancau.. hahaha.. Better go use a duel core OS phone like my android or an IOS4 like iphone. Its like a mini computer. Even though teda BBm apa lancau semua tu, But i use, Easy digi prepaid, Lagi FREE!!! Lps tuh, Pakai whatsap. Lagi FREE JGK! People use BBM because alot of celebrity use BB. :P. If you can master android phone apps, software and its use, then you are worthy to be called a gadget person. Blackberry comes from the word Burberry. So its like a brand name. So does Iphone and Android phone. SAMSUNG s2 IS STILL The top phone android software there is. Iphone4S copies andoid's capability such as the duel core function, the pull down task bar. Talking phone gps and those kinda shit. Nothing la iphone4S ni, masih kalah. Have to wait for Iphone 5. Then we'll see which is better. And by the time iphone 5 is out, just hope that samsung would make another android debut by then. Gila babz, if both went out the same time, Mmg hangat la debate between iphone and samsung. Perghhhh~ Seram nih~ hahahaha
Can't wait which is better!!! hehehe

Ok, i'm getting sleepy. hehehe... doing this blog thingy really makes me sleepy. heh~ tired of thingking kali kan. Muahahahaha... xD