Controversial

Today i'm gonna write a very controversial story about myself.

When i started wearing the tudung (Hijab), from then on i get alot of positive reactions towards me. Before wearing the tudung, dengan muka cina kopek aku lg, seriously, those Malay muslim people tend to have this typical stereotype about girls like me. And they tend to give you those negative impression and layanan yg agak teruk. Seriously, i have experience all these discrimination towards me. But when i started wearing the tudung, alhamdullillah, i get to see a better side of me that i myself were not aware of the qualities that i had. And so, i get better positive reaction, better layanan, especially when you go to any cafe, you'll discounts and sometimes cheaper things too.. :)

However, to change the way i am right now takes alot of strength, commitment and support. You want to know why? I was like the devil back then. I drink, i got wasted, i took weed (Biasa la time budak kan), some X, and some of that. I was a bad bitch last time compared to those present wanna be bitches that i see kononnya kaki clubbing, minum la apa la. Well, now its the opposite. Really, really opposite. When i was bad, i view some of those tudung people as those bitches that are so skema, boring, alim la kunun, because the way they stare a me was like, wooooaaahhh!! but now, i am that tudung people, and the way i view those bitches that kununnya hebat la go clubbing and all, is a mere wannabe. Poser. From that point on, i became scared of revealing my skin (Aurat), my cleavage Size 38E Boobs (;P) hahaha and my body. You want to know why? hukuman Allah S.W.T sangat menakutkan to those that reveal their body besides their husbands. Yeah i know, last time i was like, what the crap is this? But as i go on, with a lot of support from My one and only boyfriend, soon to be my husband, Jai :), He is the one that change everything from that! to where i am right now. Alhamdullillah, i manage to have the amount of Iman needed for me to change and to stay the way i am right now. :)

As Jai always remind me, Kalau kita kejar Duniawi, Allah S.W.T mmg bagi, minta apa satu pun mmg dapat, Tapi syurga akan dijauhkan. And i read some islamic article, dosa yang lebih berat daripada berzina, adalah, meninggalkan solat secara sengaja.

I find being slowly adapting to the teachings of islam is wonderful. Teaches you on how to be a better person. I think it was in the quran, Iread it when i was in Mekah, it said, "avoid people that brings harm to yourself, and be close to people that does not bring harm to you". Brings harm means, not only physicall and mentally harm, but dari sudut, " Orang yang boleh membawa dosa pada diri sendiri". So, i guess from reading the Quran in mekah, it really opened up my eyes more. It made me think, what have i done with my life until now. So i avoid those people. I don't know, it was automatic. I feel like i needed to breath and to manage myself.

I also read the punishment to woman that does not take care of their aurat. Scary shit i tell you. Rambut di paku dan dibakar sampai otak mendidih, Anggota badan di bakar sbb tidak menutup aurat, disula and etc... that is some scary shit ok. :P

What i hope to be in the future, is to be a succesfull woman in life and also di hari akhirat,and to be a good muslim :)