woot woot!!

Hey yall!! heeeeeeee :D

Its been quite sometime since i wrote anything in my blog. hehehe. Went out with jai yesterday to pavi, then to low yat, then to bb, had shisha there and it's just the two of us. Yay!! hehehe..
miss youuuuuu!!!! huuuaaaaaaaa :D

assignments and projects is taking its toll in me. Haih.. manyak kerja lorh~ had problems with the group members, but things are getting better i guess..??

Butchy was introduced to me on the 27th of march. he was given to me by my syg jai.. :) hehe.. he is soft, cuddly, cute and smells like jai.. yay!!! dayangku mazrianah like this! hehehe

Had a phone interview with shell for my scholarship. Nerve wrecking~ huhu.. i was so nervous the person who interviewed me had to repeat the questions. I was like "DAMN yoooo!!! hahaha... but the case study went well, interview lasted for an hour. Perghhhh~ so could you imagine all those applicants that they need to interview, telephone cost yall~ mahal2...

is taking a short break from my final project. Is currently editing my web site for the group project. The hyperlinks are all good~ pictures.. not that sure, font's colors and allignment border needs to be edited back. And please, its aloooooott!! But hey, i love work.. work work work work.. :D

cintamu,
yang kurasa,
walau tak terucap,
smakin dalam...

cintamu,
Tlah terukir,
Dibatas cintamu
selamanya..

tak pernah ku mencoba
lepaskan cintamu walau sesaat
sejujurnya diriku
terlalu sayang padamu...

ku ingin slalu dlm cintamu...

Dan tiada
yg kan memisahkan
selamanya...

cintamu,
yang terlintas.
terbias matamu,
selama ini...

adakah dihatimu,
terbersit satu harapan untukku,
ku berjanji selamanya,
kau selalu milikku,

satu cinta tak pernah ku mencoba,
lepaskan cintamu walau sesaat,
sejujurnya diriku terlalu sayang padamu....

ku ingin selalu dlm cintamu..

Favorite song.. :) me and jai.. hehee

I miss hardcore activities.. :(
This semester is quite boring.. because there's no spontaneous acitvity's..
Syg jom!! let's have some outdoor activities.. :D yea!!! hehehehe
let's play:

Futsal
fishing
hiking
mountain climbing
paintball
diving
swimming
go kart
scuba diving
camping
jet skiing
parasailing
bungee jumping
basketball
jogging
an escape to an island :)
archery
bowling
ice-skating
SUPER roller coaster!!
skateboarding??
boxing??
Sparring??
hunting??? hahahaha

nak buat smua nie with syg.. :) weeeeee... best2!! hahaha (bidon lebeyh) hehe

hurmmm... :) i wanna have fun with lots of activitites.. yea!

your truly:
deekay~

W.O.R.K

W.O.R.K= World organization for Rascal Kids

Haih.. work work work work. Everyday work. My work is those assignments and projects that you need to do everyday. I'm in fucked up shit. Had i 'full' dinner last. :) hehehe.. celebrated my birthday together with nina. Had, barbecued chicken, udang, fish, lamb, steak, udang soup and many more. Sgt2 full!! hehe.. thanx for the dinner! hehe.. and deserts waw the cake cutting.. hehe. had Baskin Robbins cake.. mmm~ (Habis diet plan!)

Just downloaded macromedia Dreamweaver 8 punya installer. is making a website now. weeeeeeee... i feel soooo.. indigenous, because my group is making a website on cultural heritage. I'm doing about sabah. Check it out in the dictionary for those who do not know the meaning of indigenous is.. :P

Am i being a rascal?? i am annoying.. hahahaha.. haih... tia pa.. kerja web nie senang.. BOLEH BHAAAAA!!! weeeeeee.... xD...

haih... haters= Your face looks like a pussy. Patut la~ :)
lovers= I love you!!!

Miss my jai and my butchy~ huhuhu...

Passing through

its been such a long time since i wrote anything in my blog. Feels just like yesterday i post something new. :)..

Anyway, next month is my final. This is semester is quite short. But the work given by the lecturers was like hell (kononnya). I've been staying at home goinng back and forth to the university for 2 month now. Stayed only a month in college. After that, its kota damansara-UiTM-Kota damansara. Went for meatball dinner in ikea with naz and sut just now. Naz introduced to me a camera that is worth RM100. It was classic. You don't need any batteries but you only need a film for it though. Had fun with the camera. :). (Camera pasang sendiri tu). haha xD

Jai is back here in KL. But he went to mantin for a short stay. Was, worried when he asked my permission to go to mantin. Well you know mantin is like right. *sigh*. He'll be staying with his friends at block........ hahahaha! xD

Today is my birthday! And i'm 21. FREEDOM AGE! yea~ hehehehe

Will be off to EGYPT after my finals on the 16th may. Really need a vacation in Cairo. They say Cairo is a beautiful place. That is where you should do your shopping. :) yea~ is in dire need of Egyptian cotton. My Egyptian cotton 'baju kurung' is not enough. The fabric is soft and comfortable. Made me addicted to it. haih...~ Oh and I'm gonna meet my friend wan sherhan. He is studying medicine there. :)









I want to visit all of this places.. weeeee... especially the jazz bar. Itu pula maksud c wan sherhan pasal pompuan gelek.. muahahahahahahaha xD!! egypt here i come.. :) hehehe.. and it seems that, when i'm on vacation, my syg pun is on vacation. hahaha.. what are the odds... hehehe.. i'm going to egypt, and he's going to singapore.. on vacation at one of the island.. best like pg island bhaaa... hehehehe :P hehe.. so anyway.. stay tune :)

Deekay~

No wine and cheese Party 2010 (Bachelor of law)

Went to a party on wednesday night in uitm shah alam. First of all it was a rockstar theme. And i don't have any clothes that look like a rockstar. Second, the air condition in the car was like hell and so i drove all the way to shah alam with the windows open. Third, there was traffic in subang and so i was sweating like hell. Fourth, Luckily i did not use my 5 inch heels or else driving would be far greater then hell.

Arrived at nieja's house at 8 p.m. Parked my car infront of her house. And so second base touch up in her house while waiting for wani to come pick us up with her ride. They were all using heels and i'm the only one using my cute pumps. hehe. Wani arrived, and so all of us went to DBS in uitm shah alam.

The environment was crazy! It was like a gig! And so we watched. My friend udang played his guitar on stage. Bidon Cassanova! hehehe.. if you're reading this.. i mampu gelak jerwh~ xD.. haha

Nyway, towards the end of the night, wani exchange her heels for my pumps because her feet hurts. She's not used to use heels that high maybe so its understandable. Luckily it fits. So i used her heels la. Her heels was only around 4 inch So its not that high, (for me la). And so, bidon cket la jln2 kat party tu.. hheheh..
Evryone dresses like a rockstar and it was awesome. Everyone was pretty.

I on the other hand keluar dr theme rockstar. Oe dgn fana gak. Hahaa. And to sum it all up me and aj crashed the party. Oe yea~ Smua pelik and surprised, asal dk ade kat cni.. hehehe xD. Lots of people changed. They are not the same as before when all of us were in uitm kedah.

And so, here'e the picture:






So stay tuned
Yours truly
Deekay~

Ruzaini.M

This is the man whom i dearly love :)




Yes, his name is Muhammad Ruzaini Haron. And yes i'm in love with him. He's the guy that made me happy. He's the guy that made my pale sorrow face glows again. He's the one who made my life meaningful. Ladies and gentlemen.. i introduce to you the man i love..

Muhammad Ruzaini Haron. But people call him jai :)

A JB person. A year older than me. He used to study in a LAME college called LAGENDA College in Seremban in which he totally agreed that it is such a waste of time studying there, because the certificate is NOT recognized by any organization. So yea. You're just wasting your time and effort studying there.

He is very active in sports. He used to be fat like me, but now he's toned down. Which is surprisingly chemistry'd towards our slimming down theory. Both of us toned down at the same time and both of us are now having a new life together. coincidence?? We can't fight of fate. Unless we want that thing to happen. I pun tdk sangka that we would lead these life together. And both of us can't get rid of each other because both of us loved each other so much. And why would i want to get rid of him?? Like omg, I want him!

He wants to be a seafarer. In which it is a sad and lonely thing to do when you have a girlfriend. But that is what he wants, and i will always support him in many ways that i can. :)

As the saying goes "when bad things come to an end, good things will appear. As long as you don't repeat your mistake, then karma will not hit you." :)

He waited for 2 years, and i waited for... well jujur la.. i waited for 3 years for someone that really deserve me. :) I was in a relationship in that 3 years of waiting. And during the relationship, ok secara jujur, it was hell! The glow from my face was gone for 2 years. I noticed from my previous picture, i always looked pale and unhappy. Even though i smile, you could see through and look at how unhappy i am. Weird, sometimes people would suddenly stop and say why am i looking sad. Well, that explains it.

Well, my friends are now telling me that i look brighter. :) yay!! hehehe.. I'm so in love with you jaaaaaai~~~~~ hehehe

Well i just hope that he's the last one. Insyaallah, AMIN~ :)

Kesian dia penat~ hehehe

29.01.10 8.41 P.M.. Friday

29.01.10
8.41 P.M.. Friday

I’m in my room. Sitting down, listening to the music while viewing my photo album in my laptop. My wallpaper picture is the picture of me and jai. Damn it! Every time i Look at his photo I go lonely because I miss him so much!! Even before I look at his photo I’m already missing him like crazy. So could you imagine the double encounter of “ rindu-ing “ feeling I’m having?? Haih~

Anyhow, my work all done. No more work except for those assignments. Hurm~ gonna work on the assignments soon. Very soon.

I miss my jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!! Huhuhu.. my dirty clothes sdh mau sampai separuh already. So gonna wash them soon. Music is my assistant and a friend when I’m feeling lonely. Because it kinda helps you sooth your feelings silently.  So therefore I LOVE MUSIC! Hehe

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!! I need yyyooouuu!! Sayang tau x baby need syg beside baby..??? hurmm.. I’m crazy about youuuuu!! I don’t care of what people say ( if got la ), all I know that you have a sincere heart..  that is RARE from a boy~  that is your asset sayang… 

I am wondering if I’ll be strong without seeing you for such a long time. But then again, absence makes the heart grows fonder..  Sayang, I want you to know that there’s always someone waiting for you here.. no matter how far you are, either on sea, air or land, there will always someone here who is waiting for you patiently, waiting to hug you, waiting for your presence beside her, waiting for you to hold her hands, waiting for you to make her laugh, waiting for you so that she could make your day seem so special…  You are one lucky guy to have such a caring girl.. 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JAAAAII!!!!

8.53 p.m

28 Jan 2010, Thursday 10.25 P.M

28 Jan 2010, Thursday
10.25 P.M

Its almost midnight, and I seem to be lost in my own very little world, by being alone in my room. I am missing that boy so much. A boy named Muhammad Ruzaini Haron. You have no idea how much I love him and how much I miss him badly.

Been doing my work since 8 p.m. Took a break for nearly half an hour due to the “ mengantuk-ness” attack. And continued back my work. During my break time was the time of feeling solitude. Alone in my house, Housemates all gone to a movie, and I’m the only one stuck in at home doing my work, studies and my preparation for next week presentation. How ‘ lively my life is ‘ . sigh~

Anyway, really thought that he could call me right now. But then I remembered that he was out of credit by calling me these afternoon. Saaaad. At least I got the chance to tell him that I missed him so much.. xD.. yay!!

He got his seafarer card and his medical check up done. So now he’s just on the preparation to go for his seafarer training in Terengganu. That’s a week ok. Well at least he is still on land right? Hehhe..

After a week of training, he is just waiting for a call to go. Haih~ missing him baaaadly.. 

What will I become when he’s gone for 6 month or soo?? I’m gonna be alright..  gonna show him that I’m growing up while he’s gone.  Gonna surprise him when he’s back to Malaysia. Yay!!! Gonna make use of his time here in Malaysia before he’s off to sea.

Lotsa woooorrrrkkk!!! Tension!! I can do it!! Yea!!! Hehehehe

10.33 p.m

11 jan 10, Monday.. 11.21 P.M

11 jan 10, Monday.. 11.21 P.M

Its been 11 days since we’ve met on new year’s, and slowly I’m beginning to feel week. I miss him. A lot. I’ve done my studies for tomorrow’s pop quiz. Luckily I’ve been through this situation a thousand times before so I’m beginning to feel that I might get used to this feelings. Well I should be since he is going to be a seafarer soon, and we’ll probably meet around five times per year or even twice. Who knows, maybe he’s on board for only 6 month. Hopefully.

I’m beginning to feel that life is really challenging. Daddy is teaching me about responsibility by cutting down my expenses. . How can I live??!! But like my Jai said, maybe there’s goodness behind all his teachings. I just pray to God that I could go through all this with his help of giving me strength to endure all his tests. Must be strong. Because in the working world, No one will pity you. All you have to do is work like a dog 24/7.

So for the past 6 month or maybe even less, I’ll be doing this journal, to jot down what I feel and learn while waiting for him to come back. .. I hope he knows that I really love him so much and that I really need him. 
There’s not much to say now, because there’s an absence feeling deep down my heart. And only My Jai could fill it up and not make it empty.  Like old Literature say, “Absence makes the heart grows fonder “.  And it certainly is growing fonder by the second. How I miss you so much Jai. You have no idea.
Luckily there’s always a way to make this feeling go away for a second. Being buzy!! Hehe.. When I was memorizing my note, the thought of missing him really fade away. I mean its good right?? Its like I could focus on my studies even though I’m missing him BADLY!! :D I got a feeling that he really is supporting me on what I do, just like I supported him in what he’s doing. 

I hope he realize that there is always someone waiting, supporting him and cheering him here..  Because that person really cares for him.

END
11.34 P.M

LIGHT

Sometimes people are just being so Over populated with the things they do. Ex- Facebook, blogs, twitter, myspace and etc...

Well the topic for today is simply... me... stating that i'm quite happy and impressed of myself. xD

All thanks to My beloved Jai.. :D

Twas during the day in my friends room,
Where on-lining is the technological thing to do,
And there it was,
Twas the sight and the idea of a friend,
To view a particualr blog,
Of which i myself would fill in much hatred,

But, twas the sight and thought that gave me the power to relinquish all those opposing elements of positive, into nothing but dust.

Ok enough for classic literature :)

Well, just to explian that, i don't feel a thing anymore towards BK. :) I'm just happy and relieved that i'm not attached to him anymore. :) It took only 2 month.. and boooooooooy i'm glad that he's out. Plus, when i look back at my old blog, i then realized that he's a pig. Can't believe my self to be indulged in a relationship with him.. Him, by taking advantage of me, just because i was a freshy from SPM. Knowing nothing about commitment, and there he was standing between my path. It was Satan who sent him to me!! Astaghfirullahhulazim~

So anyway, i'm just happy with my life now. Happy that there is someone who is giving 140 percent commitment to me... :) Yay.. and that my friends is Muhammad Ruzaini Haron. The boy who light up my path and life.

I love you so much jai~ :)

Yours trully;
Deekay

Life.. trully by Dk Mazrianah a.k.a Rianah :)

Moving forward is what kept me strong from the old me. Forgetting the past is what made me faster and smarter. Being brave is what kept me moving. As what i've come up with my principle is those experiencing difficulties in coping with life, love and friendship. I made a statement for which i followed through out my years as a university student, " A new life begins with a polished behavior from the experiences you gain from your past".

Each and every human being will always have an introduction about them self. A simple yet widely used introduction for which the whole world is using it no matter who or what they are. The introduction that i am defining is " Helo my name is ...... ". No matter how smart or stupid a person is, both of them use the same introductory about themselves. That is the formal part. The informal part sounded like this " Hey i'm ... or Hi ... ". The reason why i'm talking about an introduction is because, every human being that is made by God are the same. However, the way they lead their life are base on how, what or where they came from or being brought up in. And every single experience is important to develop a person's self conscious and attitude.

From Heartbreaks to backstabbing to lies to " MENGKHIANATI " to downsizing to psycho and etc... I've experienced all of it. And hell i met i lot of people with different set of behavior. Like wise men said, " being kept in your own country will not make you wise, expose your self to the variety of people in the world and you will see that they are more then meets the eye" ( cheh transformer kunun ). But hey its true. I came from a little and yet a bit rural area of malaysia called sabah. From what i see, hear and learned that, some of my friends are still caught up with how they perceive things. Due to the never been exposed to the other people with different sets of behavior, thinking, attitude and life. They are still trapped in their own very world. I am glad that i've been given the chance to explore more people on the other side, however, it is still not enough to experienced your own kind, ( malaysians ). I'm just glad that i found better and newer friends who think like i do. :) A wide thinking capacity. :) The experience i get when i was in UITM Merbok kedah really made my eyes wide open. Sometimes you just need to shut up and listen. Being famous and all is what IMMATURE kids do.

I wish that i could travel the world with someone special. :).. And i hope that someone special right now will be the last. insyaallah.. :) amin~ :)

2010, my azam for this year is to get 4 flat!! just a little bit more to 4 flat. :)

I just hope that with the experience i have, it will get me going further in life and in relationships. Because, the more i think and analyze on what i understand, the more it became clearer to me about my aim and objectives. I just want to succeed in life like any other people. But i want more. And i will work hard for it to become real.. :)

Miss you jai~.. always.. :)

2010!!!!

Its 2010, and what happened in 2009 is history. A new year with a new set of behavior and aim.

My 2010 was awesome!!!! And i got to spend it with my one and only Jai~ ahax! ;P
Meet in klcc around 12.30 p.m. Were playing the hide and go seek in kinokuniya. It was fun and heart wrenching because it was very suspenseful.. hahaha!! So he saw me first, like last time. Hahahaha!! And so we spend most of our time in klcc before the clock strikes 12 midnight. And yes we did enjoyed our quality time together. Hehehe.. The fireworks was at the klcc garden where lotssssssss of people were gathering there at 8 p.m. We were sharing our kfc because i was in a strict diet. At first he though of having pizza but i said naaaaah, its to heavy. So we ordered kfc instead and shared the 2 pieces of chicken. We ate at the bench in klcc together. It was the moment where you feel it was woooooooooow~ i've never done this before. haha!!

And so, we walked around the garden at 9 p.m. And so i noticed the special seat where we could see the fireworks up high and clear. And yes it was the perfect spot! Waiting for the clock to strike at midnight was unbelievably fast. It was like, oh dear i just met him at 12.30 in the afternoon and now its midnight. Time flies by so fast. And so when the clock strikes midnight, it is where everything happened. Like he said, " Almost paradise ". :)

And so, after the fireworks we were planning to meet my friends nieja and all in BB. But the idea of going there using the lrt was a no no!! It was packed!!! And so, we walked side by side, holding hands to BB. It was a memorable walk. We had lots to say to each other and it was simply beautiful, like a symphony.. :)

Nieja they all celebrated in BB. She asked me to come there but i said naaaah, i'll watch the fireworks here in klcc, so you guys just have fun in BB.. :). They took lots of pictures though!! ( haih~ :( ).. Its okay, the date i had with my syg is the only thing that i need. :) But still we managed to go meet them in BB. After that we went to bukit ( what"s the name) in ampang. Jai followed. Rode in Aj's car. Reen and jepon was there, and so does jepon's friends.. they were awesome. And my jai had great fun there.. :)

Alot happened..that was simply memorable. It was the best 2009 new year EVA!!!!! xD
But while were sending jai back to his house, it was sad, because that was the last time i could see him again before he goes off to shore.. :( But its okayh.. like people say.. " Absence makes the heart grows fonder " :).. and i kinda like that statement. :)

Gave him my favorite Red heart pillow i got from ogawa. The vibrator inside the pillow was gone. Weird~.. But still, i have his scarf that would make me feel his presence close to me. :)

Today probably at 11 a.m, i'm going back to Puncak Alam for my registration. Haih~ back to reality.. hahaha. Its okay, because i will always have my top supporter with me. :) gonna drive there alone, with all my stuff. Hehehe~ yea~ driving!! really enjoy driving.

I've prepared my self what this year would give me. If its good or bad, i'll take it with honor.. :)

Love you jai~
Till then;
Deekay~